You Know You're From Mass. When...

[raccoonradio]

(There's a whole bunch of these "memes" online...for each state and several cities)

http://www.blogthings.com/wherefrom.html

I found this meme of interest and will comment:

You Know You're From Massachusetts When...
The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow.

(No I try to do the speed limit...)

When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke...not quinine water.

(Yes, most people say "pop", "soda"...we say "tonic". Goes back to the days of patent medicines like
the "tonic" to relieve the pain pregnant women experienced, sold by one Lydia Pinkham: "We'll
drink, a drink, a drink to Lily the Pink..." (Scaffold; Irish Rovers)

You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.

(But thankfully they're taking out the Cape Cod one!)

You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.

(It's the Larry Glick salute!)

You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit.

(WISS-tah, Bill-RICK-a, HAY-vrill, BAY-ree, Ca-TOO-it.)

You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer.

(This list is old. You can buy beer in Mass. on Sundays now, anywhere.)

You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they're both crooks.

(One robs with a pistol, one with a pen.)

You know what they sell at a packie.

(Booze! Short for package store.)

You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.

You can actually find your way around Boston.
(Not easy. Cowpaths.)

Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday.
(And conveniently enough it falls on St. Patick's Day!)

You know what First Night is.
(Boston originated First Night, an alcohol-free celebration of New Year's Eve with art and music.)

You have never been to Cheers.

(Where everybody knows you're lame! A bar in Boston, near the Fan Pier I believe, named themselves
Three CHEERS in an attempt to get tourist money. The real Cheers is the Bull and Finch pub on
Beacon Hill.)

When the words 'WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together.
("Very good")

You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Pats would move to Hartford.
(Sorry Gov. Rowland!)

You have gone to at least one party at UMass.
(Er, no.)

You think Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever.
(Same age as me. Still playing at 43. Our Doug.)

You remember exactly where you were when the ball rolled through Buckner's legs.
(I had just gotten home from work at the P.O. and got to see it.)

You pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series not this season, but in your lifetime.
(THEY DID!! Now Fox can stop running those damn "curse of the Bambino" features every time
the Sox play the Yankees.)

You know how to make a frappe.
(No, but I know it's kinda like a milkshake.)

You never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape".
(Yes I do, to see my Dad.)

You think that Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger.
(No, Roger's OK. He was in the twilight of his career, we were told, right before he won
a few more Cy Young Awards and a World Championship with NY.)


You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day.
(That I can do!)

You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.
("All snow north of the pike...")

You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group.
(We'll have a gay old time.)

You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.
("What're you, re-TAHHHHH-ded?")

You've called something "wicked pissa"
(Yes, "Very good")


You see people like Steven Tyler (Aerosmith), Dicky Barret (The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones), Tracy Bonham, Evan Dando (The Lemonheads) and Ric Ocasek (The Cars) in the local supermarket and it doesn't phase you.
(No, but I saw ex-Boston Mayor Kevin White walking down Charles St. once. The mayah o' the
schitty o'Borston!)

You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater
(No comment)

Know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frank(ie)
(Paisono!)

Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS within eyeshot at all times.
(True.)

You keep an ice scraper and can of de-icer on the floor of your car...year round
(You never know. Global warming, my ass.)

You know what candlepin bowling is
(and you remember Candlepins for Cash on Ch. 7.)

You know what a "regular" coffee is
(At dunkin' donuts)

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Massachusetts.

 

[bluescreen]

Haha priceless. I don't wanna repost the entire one, but here are a few true ones from Colorado

If the humidity gets above 25%, you consider it "muggy".
(According to folks down here, Dallas is dry...my ass)

You only go to Central City when friends are in from out of town.
(Actually I prefer Deadwood, SD, to Blackhawk, Central City, or Cripple Creek)

You have been skiing less than 10 times in your life
(Try zero. Too goddamn expensive)

You think 5-points is a ghetto.
(That's because it is...)

You are the third car to run a red light after it has changed.
(Californians taught us well)

You never plan a picnic between 3:30 and 6:00 in Spring or Summer months.
(Only if you bring an umbrella)

You have a broken windshield.
(Nothin like using gravel for traction on ice)

You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and you notice the sky is no longer blue.
(Have ya seen the Front Range? It's not exactly blue there anymore, either)

You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.
(Glenwood Springs, baby)

 

[WLYNWAZNgm]

more You Know You're From Mass. When...

Walk/don't walk lights are merely suggestions for tourists

You had a Fluffernutter for lunch last weekend.

When somebody says they went bowling, your next question is "big
balls or small balls??"

If something is not within a 2 hour drive of downtown, YOU DON'T
REALLY NEED IT.

A studio apartment under $1000 a month is considered cheap

The side streets may have road signs, but the main drags do not...

You remember Rex Trailer and Bozo TV shows (I was on both) and
voted for your neighbor who was on Community Auditions. (star of the day,
who will it be?)

You know that everybody in or near Quincy Market is from out of town

Roadmaps may say I-95, but it is still Rte. 128 to anybody who matters

Filene's Basement at Downtown Crossing is the only "real" one, and
Macy's is really a New York store

You have to dial the area code to call your neighbor

You think crosswalks are for babies

khaki's are something you start the car with

You think if someone's nice to you, they either want
something or they're from out of town (and probably lost).

You know how to cross 4 lanes of traffic in 5 seconds

If you hear someone say "pahk the cah in hahvad
yahd" one more time you're going to bitch slap them upside the head.

Anything past Worcester is "the middle of nowhere"

You are amazed when traveling out of town that people > > who work at
McDonald's speak English.

You think it's not actually tailgating unless your bumper is
touching the car in front of you.

You know that a yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through...

and that a red light means 2 more can.

Crown Victoria = undercover cop

Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as the
"T", and only the "T"

For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa.

There are 6 Dunkin Donuts within 20 minutes of your house.

You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag

When people talk about the "curse of the Bambino", you know what
they're talking about (and believe in it too).

You know what the blinking red light on the Hancock tower means in the
summer.

You think of Rhode Island as the "deep south".

You believe using a turn signal "gives away your plan to the enemy".

If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have
3 names.

You've honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second
the light turned green.

All the potholes just add excitement to your driving experiences.

Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only if you feel like it.

6 inches of snow is considered a "dusting"

3 days of 90+ heat is definitely a "heat wave" and 63 degree
weather is "wicked warm".

$15 to park is a bargain

you cringe every time you hear some actor/actress try to do
"the Boston accent" in a movie - if you don't have it, you're
never gonna get it right, even if you were born here.

you can go from one side of your hometown to the
other in only about 15 minutes and see at least 15 deadbeats you
graduated with----doing the exact same thing they were doing when the last
time you saw them!

Through high school you had seen many fist fights
between guys------but more between GIRLS!!

The words wicked and mint were major parts of your
vocab. along with calling chocolate sprinkles at the ice cream shop
Jimmy's!

 

[raccoonradio]

Re: more You Know You're From Mass. When...

> Walk/don't walk lights are merely suggestions for tourists

I once had a whole book called The Boston Driving Handbook which said the cardinal rule of driving here is Thou Must Get To Thy Destination As
Quickly As Possible, Everybody and Everything Else be Damned.


> You had a Fluffernutter for lunch last weekend.

Made in Lynn and mentioned in humorist Don White's song "I'm From
Lynn, What Can I say?"


> You remember Rex Trailer and Bozo TV shows (I was on both)
> and
> voted for your neighbor who was on Community Auditions.
> (star of the day,
> who will it be?)

I remember one Rex Trailer song: Hoofbeats, hoofbeats hoofbeats/
Thunder cross the prairie wide/Hoofbeats, hoofbeats, hoofbeats/
Ride cowbody ride


> Filene's Basement at Downtown Crossing is the only "real"
> one, and
> Macy's is really a New York store

What's with all the NY owners? Macy's bought out Jordan Marsh;
both the Sox and the Globe are owned by the NY Times (the Sox
partially owned by them)...


> You know how to cross 4 lanes of traffic in 5 seconds

"The merge" near the Garden/Fleet Center (no more)

> If you hear someone say "pahk the cah in hahvad
> yahd" one more time you're going to bitch slap them upside
> the head.

Just like my friend from Chicago can't stand when people refer
to "the Windy City"

> You know what the blinking red light on the Hancock tower
> means in the
> summer.

Let's see: Steady blue, clear view
Flashing blue, clouds due
Steady red, rain ahead
Flashing red, snow instead (or Red Sox game cancelled). That was
from memory.

 

[Eli Polonsky]

Re: more You Know You're From Mass. When...

> > Walk/don't walk lights are merely suggestions for tourists
>
> I once had a whole book called The Boston Driving Handbook
> which said the cardinal rule of driving here is Thou Must
> Get To Thy Destination As Quickly As Possible, Everybody and
> Everything Else be Damned.

Then, how do you account for the opposite extreme, all the people who are just barely moving down the street, oblivious to (or completely inconsiderate of) everyone else, repeatedly stopping for no reason? I don't think they're all lost out of town tourists. People here drive either one extreme (maniacal), or the other (barely plodding, halting). Very few simply drive normally.

> > You remember Rex Trailer and Bozo TV shows (I was on both)

I wasn't on either of those. I was on Major Mudd, and Willie Whistle.

 

[WLYNWAZNgm]

Rex theme

> I remember one Rex Trailer song: Hoofbeats, hoofbeats
> hoofbeats/
> Thunder cross the prairie wide/Hoofbeats, hoofbeats,
> hoofbeats/
> Ride cowbody ride


Gee, I had forgotten that... but his sidekick was Pablo (I believe he died)
before Sgt. Billy showed up. Nobody does local kids' shows anymore. In a top-10 market, this is a disgrace. No excuse...

 

[954]

You think all Kennedys are wonderful, and will continue to vote for them no matter what they do!<P ID="signature">______________
<center><hr>

Listen to samples from
<A href=http://www.univox.com/radio/saddamz.html>The Ballad of Saddam Hussein</A>
(comedy/parody on CD)</P>

 

[raccoonradio]

> You think all Kennedys are wonderful, and will continue to
> vote for them no matter what they do!
>
Not me! I haven't voted for them. Most do, though...how old would Mary Jo
be if not for Teddy giving her that ride back to the ferry?

 

[954]

> > You think all Kennedys are wonderful, and will continue to
>
> > vote for them no matter what they do!
> >
> Not me! I haven't voted for them. Most do, though...how old
> would Mary Jo
> be if not for Teddy giving her that ride back to the ferry?

She'd be well past 50, part of Teddy's AARP constituency!

73s from 954<P ID="signature">______________
<center><hr>

Listen to samples from
<A href=http://www.univox.com/radio/saddamz.html>The Ballad of Saddam Hussein</A>
(comedy/parody on CD)</P>