Reporting for 5 year olds?

There was a car crash in Bristol, Connecticut. And to me the way the newspaper reporter described the condition of one of the vehicles after the crash makes it seems like the newspaper is targeting 5 years olds.

The Buick, which was left in the roadway following the collision, sustained heavy front end damage as well, collapsing like an accordion and losing its front bumper.

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Cars are designed to "collapse like an accordion" for safety reasons - something that virtually every automaker makes known in its advertising.

The target of this article probably wasn't a five year old but the writer surely was.

I had an English teacher in high-school who claimed that The New York Times was America's finest newspaper because it was written at an eighth-grade reading level, whereas most of the other newspapers were written at a sixth-grade reading level.

Our country's literacy has certainly not advanced since those days.