DORIS MONSON II

I've thought about starting a Doris blog but ... just wish there was time to really stick it to this blowhard. But the little of his squawks I've caught this week have been really entertaining. I love the sound of a pinched-cheek conservative watching history play out and realizing he is witnessing a new day. Good Lord - it was refreshing to hear a candidate who was inspiring, intelligent and masterful. I tried to imagine Bush giving that speech and just broke out laughing.

Doris, I almost feel sorry for you. And I thank all the sports gods you don't do anything more than lick crumbs off the Seahawk's plate. If your voice was heard anywhere during the actual game (other than pimping for a sponsor) it might just drive me to soccer.

You sure seem to listen a lot for someone who despises the show. Do you think that the Doris Monson "typo" pushes your point even further?

Monson must be doing something right if he's got you posting on a radio discussion board late at night.

Have you ever thought of telling him directly about your thoughts? There is a link on his web page, http://www.mynorthwest.com/?nid=91.

Hee hee hee hee hee. This is sort of a mean post....but I can't think of anyone more deserving. "Pinched-cheek conservative"! Ha ha ha ah hahahahaha.

The most popular man on Seattle talk radio, and you want to dis the dude. Ever think he might be generally right?

Loser

Hairy

HairyBuddah said:

The most popular man on Seattle talk radio, and you want to dis the dude. Ever think he might be generally right?

Loser

Hairy

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Nope

Dori logic

I stopped listening to his show years ago, when the politics started outweighing the fun stuff. If I wrote to him directly, my concerns would be outdated, but there are some things I want to get off my chest so...

When he attended the 2000 Sydney Olympics, he said that their light rail line that went to the airport was the "ghost line" because all light rail lines that go to airports are ghost lines. Yes, there is so much in common with the physical surroundings of Seattle and Sydney : Previously callers were trying to sell Dori on the Las Vegas monorails, but Dori said those were popular because Las Vegas has so many tourists who don't have their cars with them. There aren't that many tourists coming out of airports, right? : Then it was announced that light rail wouldn't reach the airport after all, and Dori was mad that Sound Transit didn't live up to their promises. But wait, now that the light rail line doesn't touch an airport, doesn't that mean it suddenly won't be a ghost train? I'm confused. But now the line is being built to the airport and I don't know what Dori says about that.

One time he did a story about a mother mistreating her child, and the condition was diagnosed as "Munchausen syndrome by proxy," but Dori's concern was that doctors had intentionally given that condition a cute name. What the hell? Hey, Dori's a pretty cute name too.

Another time he was fighting against scholars trying to change "Before Christ" to "Before Common Era." Hey, keep fighting the big fights, man.

What's your point??? Light rail is the biggest waste of money I have seen in my lifetime. Oh yeah, about radio. If you don't like him, don't listen. It's not that hard.

I quit listening, when he stopped doing the fun stuff? Fun stuff doesn't get ratings in the afternoon talk format. Driving topics with occasional conflict does. the P.P.M's are proving it. And you are proving it. He ticked you off. Created comflict and you are still harboring resentment.
Don't know Mr. Monson, but he's clearly doing something right.

I don't listen to Ms. Munson often - you can tell by the length of time between posts - but occasionally KIRO is on after the noon news and I listen a bit. As far as being mean, threads like this are really encouraged by the divisive tactics Monson uses on the air, don't ya think? The whole idea is to pick a hot topic and stir up the hoi polloi to the point where the phones ring. Of course, Doris spends the first 45 minutes ranting and replaying audio until giving a handful of callers a few minutes.

Today was a perfect example. I heard most of the first hour. He went off on the MTV award show and the comedian making jokes about Sarah Palin's daughter (what's her name? Dandelion? Bark? Mulch?) or, as he referred to her - "A 17 year-old girl." Every time he used that term, I pictured Puss In Boots in the Shrek films when he goes all big-eyed. I swear I even heard a little catch on his voice.

He detested Brand's (the MC of the MTV show) jokes and references to (cue violins) "a 17 year-old girl." In fact, he detested them so much, he replayed them a half-dozen times. Each time he did his best to whip up a response.

His ire was initiated by the fact that the sex life of a "17 year-old girl" was no one's business. Oh ... hold on. Unless, of course little Elm Tree decided to have an abortion. THEN Doris and his faux Libertarians would very quickly make it their business. He could have mentioned that. He could have mentioned that all Palin had to do to avoid having her precious - or is it precocious? - young 'un exposed to national scrutiny was just say "no."

Doris could have mentioned that all he had to do to not add fuel to the Palin fire would be to just say "no" and not talk about it. But to do that would mean he'd have to start in again on Gregoire or call up the nuns.

I like Doris the very best when he talks about his dog Scar and pimps for Invisible Fence. I get all Norman Rockwell-ish inside.

Ratings or not - he is a joke. He's one of those kind of guys who reallyreallyreally wanted to be on the field, tossing a football or in an Ultimate Fight cage. Instead, he pounds his chest in a closed room in front of a mic and impresses his "producer" - who is really just a phone screener on steroids.

Back in the day, guys like him were called jock-sniffers.

It really DOES feel good to vent. Your turn now. Line two, you're on the air.

You don't listen often, yet the next five paragraphs are about bits Monson has done on the air recently.

Way to make your case there, Sport.

Someone please fill in the spaces here. Who and what is a Doris Monson ? What station ? I never heard of a Doris Monson. Gale Storm or Dallas Rains -- but no Doris Monson.

sam said:

Someone please fill in the spaces here. Who and what is a Doris Monson ? What station ? I never heard of a Doris Monson. Gale Storm or Dallas Rains -- but no Doris Monson.

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"Doris Monson" is the original poster's feeble attempt at mocking the name of KIRO's 12p-3p talk show host (DORI Monson).

Thanks for letting me in on the joke -- I think.

Just a reminder - humor is objective. And I'm not trying to be funny - I don't care for the guy's show.

AQH? The paragraphs I wrote were based on 45 minutes. Of one hour. Of one show. And that was Monday's. I hope that's clear enough for you, sport.

Doris loves to mock and belittle those who somehow don't live up to his vaunted standards. You know, the standards he espouses in between pimping for mortgage brokers and closet organizers. I think a little bitch slappin' aimed his way is fair play. He's a tough guy, right? He can take it.

And no one has commented on his main whine Monday -

That discussing a pregnant 17 yr old is no one's business. Unless she decides to get an abortion. Do you think he would feel the same way? Man, I can just hear his high-pitched indignity.

WKomm said:

Just a reminder - humor is objective. And I'm not trying to be funny - I don't care for the guy's show.

AQH? The paragraphs I wrote were based on 45 minutes. Of one hour. Of one show. And that was Monday's. I hope that's clear enough for you, sport.

Doris loves to mock and belittle those who somehow don't live up to his vaunted standards. You know, the standards he espouses in between pimping for mortgage brokers and closet organizers. I think a little bitch slappin' aimed his way is fair play. He's a tough guy, right? He can take it.

And no one has commented on his main whine Monday -

That discussing a pregnant 17 yr old is no one's business. Unless she decides to get an abortion. Do you think he would feel the same way? Man, I can just hear his high-pitched indignity.

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Let's look at it this way; I don't hit myself in the head with a hammer. Why? Because it hurts, and I don't like it.

You don't like the Dori Monson show (and that's perfectly fine). But you manage to come back, repeatedly. You might as well say "thank you sir, may I have another?"

Doris is NOT the most popular air talent in Seattle talk radio, i'd have to say that would go to The Groz and yes I know Groz does a sports show but he's FAR more popular than Monson.
Oh and BTW Doris knows almost ZERO about the NFL, to hear him attempt to do anything on the 'Hawks pregame show is laughable at best

AQH - I certainly understand your point, but ...

Many years back, during a period of (ahem) "professional inactivity", I listened a lot to one of the few media people I completely detest - Rush Limbaugh. I started getting embroiled in heated and endless rants and online fire fights about this useless lump of DNA. I heard dozens of inconsistancies and received private emails from anti-Rushistas with some damning stories. One day I realized I was wasting a lot of hours and nobody would EVER change their minds. If three divorces, a drug bust and a second drug problem with airport security won't chase away his listeners, nothing will. So I came to my senses and just quit listening to the pig.

If you'll look, AQH - I barely listen to Monsoon. My schedule varies and every 2-3 days I might hear the first 45 minutes or so. Sometimes what I hear I agree with, sometimes I would disagree but his pro-palin, anti-Obama rants are impossible to ignore. After Obama was cheered by 200,000 Germans, Doris went on the air with a mocking rant that went on for minutes. He is very capable of rudeness, insensitivity and extreme prejudice. So a few posts every so often that mock him on this board is certainly no big deal. After all, the guy whored out half his house through his KIRO show - if the price is a few negative posts on this board, he got a very good deal.

I don't listen a lot and when I do, I don't hang on his every word. And his massive ego display certainly doesn't stay in my thoughts very long. He's like a very loud mosquito - easily shooed away but annoying.

GenX - Like his show, I generally hear little of his pre-game bluster party. But it's obvious he feels like part of the team, an important cog. If he disappeared from the Earth tomorrow I'm sure his family would miss him. Somehow I think the Seahawks would be able to suit up and play. But I do get a laugh out of his straining to belly up to the bar.