Can I get an opinion about something work related?

[MarcB]

I've been at my new job 2 months now.

I'm becoming friends with one of my co-workers. We talk at work a lot. We like the same baseball and football teams - New York Yankees and New York Giants. We have a couple of other interests in common as well. We discussed that we would like to hang out outside of work together i.e. people watching at the mall, going to a bar and having a beer or two, possibly going to a Yankees game this coming spring or summer. There's one thing that I'm concerned with about being good friends with this co-worker. It's that fact that he is one of my supervisors.

I'm worried about what other co-workers would think if me and GD (his initials) become friends and start hanging out regularly. I don't want people to say that I'm getting special treatment at work because I'm good friends with one of the supervisors.

He's not boss-like at all. Anytime I had a question or needed help with something he was always willing to answer my question or help me out. He's always respectful to me and my co-workers. That's part of the reason I wanted to see if we could be friends.

 

[Radio-X]

I have always felt when one is at work, they are there to work. Whether you work with your friend, your family, your S.O., or all three!

What I would be most concerned about is how this will change your work dynamic. Not between co-workers, but how you go about doing things. Example: When I was an AGM of a hotel in VA, I befriended one of the desk clerks (file under: Dipping your pen in company ink). Both of us smoked and drank in similar quantities so it seemed like a good match. After awhile, she kind of figured she could get away with crazy stuff I wouldn't let others do (smoking pot/drinking on shift, not showing up to meetings, absenteeism without calling the proper people, etc.). After numerous warnings, I talked to my boss who said that if I let her get away with it because she's my friend, I would lose a lot of respect from the rest of the team I was running. He suggested just to fire her. I did that and she started up a whole can of worms with the Unemployment Commission that I was her jilted lover and fired her out of spite, she was five months pregnant with my bastard child, etc, etc. I have terminated several people before and since. Most tried to collect unemployment for unfair dismissal. She was the only one who collected off of me because I allowed that friendship to get out of control.

On the flip side, I can tell you working as a supervisor at a much fancier, union-shop, downtown Seattle hotel was the loneliest job in the world. The union was a bit on the militant side, so any relations between non-union (me) and union members (my front desk staff) were pretty much unfriendly and chilly. I tried to lead by example by helping out in all departments pulling up the slack and getting to know my employees, but it did not matter. I was not liked for performing fill-in duties when union members called out or were on break, and I was not liked by my bosses for not being harder on my staff and getting more productivity out of them. I could have used a friend, any friend, at that place...it was supposed to be the premier gig for an ex-radio and now hotel guy in it for the money like myself. I got lonely, fed up with the union and poor bosses BS, quit, have started on my grad school work and now have a night auditing job making a bit more money per hour with 1/5th of the responsibility!

So, what I can tell you is that you should be very careful in befriending supervisors. Make sure to keep the work-related talk to a minimum outside of work. However, if your professionalism and his remains the same, nobody sees you all being chummy, it's doubtful most would notice that you are friends much less getting special treatment! Avoid situations where either one of you are taking advantage of the other's professional position and you'll be OK. Otherwise it will be a slippery downward slope to unemployment and since you're the subordinate in this job, you will likely be the one getting the boot even if he is to blame!

That being said, not all supervisors are cold-hearted monsters. A lot of these folks are kind of alone in their positions, and being in entry-level management means you'll be pulled in both directions by upper managers and employees constantly. It's nice to have someone at the end of the day to drink a cold beer with and talk about non-work stuff.

Good luck!

Radio-X