Fantastic word game

Thyme, Lyfe and Looke may well have been popular news magazines back in Chaucer's day.

I saw all three of them on display at a MVSEVM.

Thyme to call your friends Ginger, Pepper, and Basil for some sage advice.

It only takes one cook to spoil the broth...

Sage advice, when followed, prevents one from making foolish decisions like jumping out of an airplane without a functioning parachute.

Jumping out of an airplane without a functioning parachute is way worse than being up the creek without a paddle.

Up the creek without a paddle is a term that no longer applies to the library, ever since our very investment savvy interns invested in the Sh-- Creek Paddle Stores, as you all know from the announcements and photographs of the storefront.

As you all know from the announcements and photographs of the storefront, as well as the official rules of the game, simultaneous postings should be responded to as if the first to appear got in first, which makes the continuation of the game based on JeffM's, rather than mine, baffling, especially since mine was posted not simultaneously but a full six minutes earlier.

The red challenge flag has been tossed. I just hope an angry bull doesn't notice it.

Six minutes earlier and WMC would have posted a six post length reminder of the rules; however, he is on a field trip, checking out the earthquake goings on at Walrus Island in Bristol Bay ahead of the deep freeze of winter, when the lush green rocky shoreline will once again ice over and the opportunity to fool other band camps into believing "the science is in and the walruses have been counted" will be lost until next summer.

Next summer seems a long way away so, in the meantime, I shall visit the lovely young library interns which will keep me warm and toasty.

Warm and toasty are two adjectives that, together, are difficult to work with to start a sentence but with warm and cozy wooly socks you can keep your toes warm.

Keep your toes warm this winter by having a friend punch you twice in the jaw, because we all know that your toes will stay warm if you have a second pair of socks.

A second pair of socks is good to keep on hand while golfing in case you get a hole in one.

See what I did there. I feel all LARR-ish and stuff.

A hole in one's head allows you to whistle just by taking off your hat on a windy day.

If you wanted to electrify a bagpipe, would you hook up an amplifier or a blower motor?

On a windy day, Wendy Daye wore a scarf over her hair so her hairdo would still look nice w'en de day came to an end.

Jeff, I once asked a Scotsman, "Is anything worn under the kilt?" He said, "No, everything is in pretty good shape."

An end to all this one-pun-upmanship would mean a lot fewer entries on this forum.

A man could get kilt for a joke like that!

This forum is quickly becoming The Fantastic Punnetry Game which might become a new game unto itself but the only two contributors would be Jeff and LARR and I think (and hope) they'd prefer to stay here with other people.

Of course, if they did attempt to start something called The Fantastic Punnetry Game (or something thereof), they'd have to pay all kinds of licensing fees to PowerWorld Inc.

They'd prefer to stay here with other people reading People magazine and listening to Barbra Streisand's recording of People and watching Nia Peeples on old episodes of Fame but Jeff and LARR have a full-time job trying to come up with outrageous puns, and even though starting a Fantastic Punnetry Game sounds like a good idea, having to pay licensing fees makes the idea un-fees-ible.

Trying to start a sentence with "un-fees-ible" may also be unfeasible!

Un-fees-ible or unfeasible, no matter how you spell it; either it "feezes" or it doesn't.

There, now anyone can pick this up and run with it for a while. I'm tired!

It doesn't look good for us as a word and writing game if we're going to stray from our sentence writing structure so, as Game Czar, I'm asking all you punnetry folks to please focus on your proper sentence writing techniques first while leaving the punnetry stuff as the eventual icing on the cake.

Don't make me make you start reading English and grammar books in your downtime. PowerWorld thanks you for your assistance in this very important undertaking.

The cake had to be cut with laser precision, so we invited the Electric Light Orchestra to do the honors.

WMC, you are correct in your analysis.

The honors of the first contribution on Page 3131 will be known soon although it won't have as much notoriety as the first contribution on Page 10,000.

Thank you Miss Silkie!